Hey Lovelies,

2019 was the toughest year I think I have ever faced. From personal challenges to big family moments, it marked a whole new me in lots of ways. Back in January, if someone had said I would be ending the year alone in hospital I wouldn’t have believed them. Yet, I am grateful in many ways that I am.

2020 is the year in which I hope I finally get to enjoy life again and I am going to make sure I do. 2019 was just the year to make me realise that and upon reflection, I am happy it was. Especially when the questions below made me see how much progress I have made in just a year:

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

I finally realised how much help I needed to get over my eating disorder and exercise addiction. Stopping the working out and coming into the hospital has been the hardest but single most amazing thing I have done for myself. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Again, I think it was realising how much I didn’t want to workout or live with my eating disorder anymore. Coming into the hospital and missing my family Christmas was also the hardest thing I have ever done. It was important I did it though.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Seeing Elton John live! I don’t know if it was his songs or not, but I left that weekend in Brighton a whole new person and “I’m Still Standing,” because of it.

What was an unexpected obstacle?

Letting my eating disorder nearly beat me. I won’t let that happen and I am trying to fight as much as I can. However, it led to a loss of jobs and key family moments which I never wanted it to do.

What were the best books you read this year?

I made a promise to myself that I wanted to read more this year, but with everything that happened, I didn’t. Out of everything I did read though, I loved Celeste Barber’s book and the recent Last Christmas novel.

With whom were your most valuable relationships?

My mum! She is my rock and she has been the biggest support system I have ever had and still got. She is my heart and without her, I would not be here today. Sorry to be dramatic but it is the truth.

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Giving up all exercise and going into the hospital to try and beat my eating disorder. Never would I have thought in January that this is where I would be at the end of the year, but it is the right place for me. Also, taking a stand with my blog and making it feature content I want it to feature and not what I thought people expected.

In what way(s) did you grow physically and emotionally?

Emotionally I think I have grown stronger and am able to listen to the physical needs of my body more. Whether that be with food or exercise.

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I realised who I could rely on and who I couldn’t. From there, a lot of my friendships have grown stronger and I have reconnected with lots of people too. There has been a lot of support given to me and I am forever thankful.

What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

To not listen to others but myself. I need to get better for me and not care what others think. I need to be happy and this is hopefully going to lead me there.

Pick three words to describe 2019

Loving, challenging and surviving

Create a phrase or statement that describes 2019 for you

“I’m Still Standing!”

And that is how I will be going into 2020! Standing and fighting lovelies! What has your 2019 been like? Ready to see it end or sad to see it go? Let me know in the comments below!

Joey X